LETTER 89: GRIEF

In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate!

Brother Shamsuddin, even if you were to travel fifty times, barefooted and bareheaded, and full of religious fervor, from the East to the West, from your own homeland of adversity to Mecca and Medina, it would not be the same as if you were plunged in the grief of not- finding God! Take heed of this saying for a moment. As a matter of fact, there is no daily practice that is more precious than that of reading one's diary of grief. Who would not benefit from this, even if he be a traveler in the realm above as well as the present world? Khwaja Attar has correctly said:

We have prepared this almanac with much effort Yet, because of inexperience, we are still half-baked We have tasted many a variety of grief: Often, lying in the dust, we have had to drink blood. We have often, like spiders, spun our web, Or, like flies, have narrated our stories. Sometimes we have donned the girdle of the Christians, At other times we have sat in their hermitages Often we have sought the remedy for this pain: Now, in our very tears, we have washed our hands of life. We have spoken much, but our hearts found no rest; Far have we traveled, but never reached the end.

O brother, whoever, in this world, has his diary of grief placed in his hands has had this said about him: Here is your book: read it.

Your own soul shall this day call you to account (Q17:14). In whichever breast the tale of not-finding is inscribed, a thousand Judgment Days will be stirred up within him. Whoever has a name for spiritual resolve is afflicted with the torments of death. Whoever is preoccupied with shifting from external impurity to inner purity will be borne from this world to the next! As long as someone remains in time and space he will not see the Wealth that has been vouchsafed to the Chosen One. If the birds of the air were to sit on the heads of those dear ones, they would not know if they were sitting on a living creature or on some piece of inert mineral. Do you know what this is all about? The sons of the world to come have all been killed-they remain bodily in this world, though their hearts are in the next. Here they have been caused to pass their life in pain and affliction to such an extent that even the lord of the world must struggle, while our own thirsting souls have become scattered before the swords of the enemies of the faith: Inwardly we are really already in the world to come, and outwardly we will soon be there too!

Umar used to leave the precincts of Mecca and roll in the dust and yearn to die, saying: I have been disappointed in what I had expected from the people, while the people are disappointed in what they had expected from me. Therefore, do not keep us bound to each other! Take my life so that I might be released from my prison and contract!

Ali ibn Abu Talib, in whose intrepidity Islam takes pride, would place his hands upon all his admirable good works and say, with a hundred sighs during the time of private prayer. Why have You not appointed misfortune for me, that my good works might be colored with my blood, and that I might thus be released from the name and claim to any intrepidity of my own accord?

Everyone who, in the world, experiences pain Has at hand the remedy for that pain. What is this remedy for the pain of the afflicted ones One glance at There is no god but Him!

It is related that there was a person who had already given up his soul before Azrael arrived to take it. When the latter arrived, he saw the man lying dead. He was astonished! He heard a voice: This slave did not have the strength to wait, on account of his great desire for Me! Listen to what the Holy Book has to say: O spirit, will you re main with the body? O body, you were made along with the spirit.

Your journey is complete. Everyone returns to his homeland, for the new moon is more beautiful when it rises in one's own sky.

No matter how happy you were in any other place, Come back, for the moon looks best in the sky!

Labor reveals the secret of the Munificent, whereas fortune is the abode of privacy, and time the occasion for peace. How can this be? I am content with you, and you are content with Me. 102 This has been explained as follows:

The New Year has come! The plains are carpeted with verdure,

The nightingale, perched on a blooming rose, is filled with love.

Now is the time for us to renew all our pledges. What was to be has come, O God, and what was to pass has taken place.

For the most part, when young men of this court leave the world, they do take with them the pain of not having found God. The saying of the wise, however, is that the grief of not-finding is, for the disappointed ones, more complete than the joy of finding!

That one whose visit with Him depends on Him Becomes astonished when He visits him! Continuously the attention of this broken heart, Whether in the Kaaba or temple, is toward Him!

On the day of the victory at Khaybar, the Apostle saw one of his friends dragging a child by its ears toward Abdullah ibn Umar. He said: O Ibn Umar, do you see this captive child in the clutches of that man? He replied, Yes, I see it. In my community. declared the Apostle, there will be free men who will come on the Day of Judgment with the seven doors of hell held more securely in their in trepid grasp than the child in the hands of that man!

Hell is concerned with lustful desire, flesh, and skin, which have come along a forbidden road: It cannot shake the steps of the righteous ones nor the piety of those who fear God. These great men, whose stories you are hearing, were neither prophets nor angels, but were just like you and me ordinary men. They were caught by the desire of what they had heard about God. They sought with supplication that which they desired, and proved the reality of their claim with signs. You too should do likewise. If you do not have silver for your daily expenses, still you have your life in place of it. Make use of this life of yours so that nothing may be able to cling to your skirt. Place your feet on the Path of loyalty to the covenant of the faith, so that no one may have any claim on you. Remove everything that is a veil for you on this path. Long ago it was said: This Way is such that you cannot reach your destination unless you first destroy yourself. The resting place, as far as the faith is concerned, is the destruction of one's animal soul. First destroy yourself, then set out along this road! Otherwise, take your troubles and get out of the way of those who are heading toward God, that the manly might enter!

Abandon yourself, then set out along the Way of faith! This infidel soul is an idol, fling it on the ground! Set out on the road, if you are a man of the Way! Having set out, sacrifice yourself on His Way! If you are told, Risk your head along this Way of Mine! Then rejoice, and fling the sash off your turbaned head!

Now, since you are not a man of such initiative, what should you do? Grab hold of the saddle straps belonging to a man of this Way. Bind yourself to him, for all of us are not born kings. In every age there is only one king, while all others pass their days in the shadow of His good fortune. O brother, the grief of the faith is no small mat- ter. You have heard that all jinn, men, animals, and birds were subject to the prophet Solomon. Nevertheless, he was inflamed with the pursuit of the faith. Whatever he possessed was out of grief born from this faith. Do not say that the world was for the companionship of Solomon; it was for his service! There is a big difference between companionship and service. Many fiery rivers have to be crossed before one can pass from service to friendship. When he heard the cry of an ant, Solomon ordered the wind to bring his throne and place it there and, for forty days, sat down beside the ant in order to hear di vine secrets from it, for God has hidden, within His creatures, many secrets of which nobody has any knowledge. If a person has any misgivings about this, he should pay attention to what the Quran has to say: All the creatures of earth and heaven praise God! (Q64:1). Even a boaster must have read, None knows God's army except He (Q74-31). It is related that David was in the sanctuary. An ant passed in front of him. He lifted his hand with the intention of throwing the ant away from the place of prostration. O David, the ant protested, what wantonness is this that you intend to inflict upon me? It is scarcely your task to lay hands upon me in God's own house! David was grief-stricken and said: O God, how should I deal with Your creatures? A voice was heard: Make it your habit to act out of fear of God so that none has to suffer on your account! Do not locate the true source of creatures in their bodies! Look rather at the mystery of their creation! If We were to order an ant to come out of its black robe, so many indications of the divine Unity would radiate from its breast that the monotheists of the whole world would be put to shame. The secret of this is indicated in the saying of the Apostle, who used to pray: Show me Your creatures as they really are!

Moses once enjoyed such a warmth of consolation one night while immersed in prayer that the effect endured till the following day. The thought occurred to him that no other creature could have been vouchsafed an experience similar to what he had enjoyed the previous night. In a moment Gabriel arrived and said: O Moses, there is a person in this forest who is able to cure whatever ails the hearts of the righteous! When Moses arrived at the spot, he saw a frog. It was croaking away in the water. On seeing Moses, it said, O Moses, I have been waiting for you for a long time, in order to uproot the shoot of pride from your heart! You should on no account claim anything unique for yourself, for every gift that was bestowed upon you last night from the divine Presence was first of all granted to me, and only afterwards to you! Be careful not to make such a claim for yourself in the future! Yes indeed, brother, there is a dignity that is taught to some by hell, to others, by an ant, and to still others, by a frog!

When Moses saw the loving concern of this frog, he understood that it was an agent of God. He flung his turban on the ground and exclaimed: O agent of God, grant me a share in the fellowship of your large heartedness, and present the story of my pain and grief to God!

Behold His honor, which renders every soul speechless! Understanding is left standing, finger in mouth. The door that had been closed could not be opened, Neither could a person place his finger upon it!

Not everyone who sets out is certain to be made a confidant!

Not everyone who comes seeking finds out about this Way!

Those who discover the secret are so lost to view That no one sees even the tip of their hair afterwards!

[Advice on what prayers to say for some specific needs follows.]

Peace!

In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate!

Brother Shamsuddin, even if you were to travel fifty times, barefooted and bareheaded, and full of religious fervor, from the East to the West, from your own homeland of adversity to Mecca and Medina, it would not be the same as if you were plunged in the grief of not- finding God! Take heed of this saying for a moment. As a matter of fact, there is no daily practice that is more precious than that of reading one's diary of grief. Who would not benefit from this, even if he be a traveler in the realm above as well as the present world? Khwaja Attar has correctly said:

We have prepared this almanac with much effort Yet, because of inexperience, we are still half-baked We have tasted many a variety of grief: Often, lying in the dust, we have had to drink blood. We have often, like spiders, spun our web, Or, like flies, have narrated our stories. Sometimes we have donned the girdle of the Christians, At other times we have sat in their hermitages Often we have sought the remedy for this pain: Now, in our very tears, we have washed our hands of life. We have spoken much, but our hearts found no rest; Far have we traveled, but never reached the end.

O brother, whoever, in this world, has his diary of grief placed in his hands has had this said about him: Here is your book: read it.

Your own soul shall this day call you to account (Q17:14). In whichever breast the tale of not-finding is inscribed, a thousand Judgment Days will be stirred up within him. Whoever has a name for spiritual resolve is afflicted with the torments of death. Whoever is preoccupied with shifting from external impurity to inner purity will be borne from this world to the next! As long as someone remains in time and space he will not see the Wealth that has been vouchsafed to the Chosen One. If the birds of the air were to sit on the heads of those dear ones, they would not know if they were sitting on a living creature or on some piece of inert mineral. Do you know what this is all about? The sons of the world to come have all been killed-they remain bodily in this world, though their hearts are in the next. Here they have been caused to pass their life in pain and affliction to such an extent that even the lord of the world must struggle, while our own thirsting souls have become scattered before the swords of the enemies of the faith: Inwardly we are really already in the world to come, and outwardly we will soon be there too!

Umar used to leave the precincts of Mecca and roll in the dust and yearn to die, saying: I have been disappointed in what I had expected from the people, while the people are disappointed in what they had expected from me. Therefore, do not keep us bound to each other! Take my life so that I might be released from my prison and contract!

Ali ibn Abu Talib, in whose intrepidity Islam takes pride, would place his hands upon all his admirable good works and say, with a hundred sighs during the time of private prayer. Why have You not appointed misfortune for me, that my good works might be colored with my blood, and that I might thus be released from the name and claim to any intrepidity of my own accord?

Everyone who, in the world, experiences pain Has at hand the remedy for that pain. What is this remedy for the pain of the afflicted ones One glance at There is no god but Him!

It is related that there was a person who had already given up his soul before Azrael arrived to take it. When the latter arrived, he saw the man lying dead. He was astonished! He heard a voice: This slave did not have the strength to wait, on account of his great desire for Me! Listen to what the Holy Book has to say: O spirit, will you re main with the body? O body, you were made along with the spirit.

Your journey is complete. Everyone returns to his homeland, for the new moon is more beautiful when it rises in one's own sky.

No matter how happy you were in any other place, Come back, for the moon looks best in the sky!

Labor reveals the secret of the Munificent, whereas fortune is the abode of privacy, and time the occasion for peace. How can this be? I am content with you, and you are content with Me. 102 This has been explained as follows:

The New Year has come! The plains are carpeted with verdure,

The nightingale, perched on a blooming rose, is filled with love.

Now is the time for us to renew all our pledges. What was to be has come, O God, and what was to pass has taken place.

For the most part, when young men of this court leave the world, they do take with them the pain of not having found God. The saying of the wise, however, is that the grief of not-finding is, for the disappointed ones, more complete than the joy of finding!

That one whose visit with Him depends on Him Becomes astonished when He visits him! Continuously the attention of this broken heart, Whether in the Kaaba or temple, is toward Him!

On the day of the victory at Khaybar, the Apostle saw one of his friends dragging a child by its ears toward Abdullah ibn Umar. He said: O Ibn Umar, do you see this captive child in the clutches of that man? He replied, Yes, I see it. In my community. declared the Apostle, there will be free men who will come on the Day of Judgment with the seven doors of hell held more securely in their in trepid grasp than the child in the hands of that man!

Hell is concerned with lustful desire, flesh, and skin, which have come along a forbidden road: It cannot shake the steps of the righteous ones nor the piety of those who fear God. These great men, whose stories you are hearing, were neither prophets nor angels, but were just like you and me ordinary men. They were caught by the desire of what they had heard about God. They sought with supplication that which they desired, and proved the reality of their claim with signs. You too should do likewise. If you do not have silver for your daily expenses, still you have your life in place of it. Make use of this life of yours so that nothing may be able to cling to your skirt. Place your feet on the Path of loyalty to the covenant of the faith, so that no one may have any claim on you. Remove everything that is a veil for you on this path. Long ago it was said: This Way is such that you cannot reach your destination unless you first destroy yourself. The resting place, as far as the faith is concerned, is the destruction of one's animal soul. First destroy yourself, then set out along this road! Otherwise, take your troubles and get out of the way of those who are heading toward God, that the manly might enter!

Abandon yourself, then set out along the Way of faith! This infidel soul is an idol, fling it on the ground! Set out on the road, if you are a man of the Way! Having set out, sacrifice yourself on His Way! If you are told, Risk your head along this Way of Mine! Then rejoice, and fling the sash off your turbaned head!

Now, since you are not a man of such initiative, what should you do? Grab hold of the saddle straps belonging to a man of this Way. Bind yourself to him, for all of us are not born kings. In every age there is only one king, while all others pass their days in the shadow of His good fortune. O brother, the grief of the faith is no small mat- ter. You have heard that all jinn, men, animals, and birds were subject to the prophet Solomon. Nevertheless, he was inflamed with the pursuit of the faith. Whatever he possessed was out of grief born from this faith. Do not say that the world was for the companionship of Solomon; it was for his service! There is a big difference between companionship and service. Many fiery rivers have to be crossed before one can pass from service to friendship. When he heard the cry of an ant, Solomon ordered the wind to bring his throne and place it there and, for forty days, sat down beside the ant in order to hear di vine secrets from it, for God has hidden, within His creatures, many secrets of which nobody has any knowledge. If a person has any misgivings about this, he should pay attention to what the Quran has to say: All the creatures of earth and heaven praise God! (Q64:1). Even a boaster must have read, None knows God's army except He (Q74-31). It is related that David was in the sanctuary. An ant passed in front of him. He lifted his hand with the intention of throwing the ant away from the place of prostration. O David, the ant protested, what wantonness is this that you intend to inflict upon me? It is scarcely your task to lay hands upon me in God's own house! David was grief-stricken and said: O God, how should I deal with Your creatures? A voice was heard: Make it your habit to act out of fear of God so that none has to suffer on your account! Do not locate the true source of creatures in their bodies! Look rather at the mystery of their creation! If We were to order an ant to come out of its black robe, so many indications of the divine Unity would radiate from its breast that the monotheists of the whole world would be put to shame. The secret of this is indicated in the saying of the Apostle, who used to pray: Show me Your creatures as they really are!

Moses once enjoyed such a warmth of consolation one night while immersed in prayer that the effect endured till the following day. The thought occurred to him that no other creature could have been vouchsafed an experience similar to what he had enjoyed the previous night. In a moment Gabriel arrived and said: O Moses, there is a person in this forest who is able to cure whatever ails the hearts of the righteous! When Moses arrived at the spot, he saw a frog. It was croaking away in the water. On seeing Moses, it said, O Moses, I have been waiting for you for a long time, in order to uproot the shoot of pride from your heart! You should on no account claim anything unique for yourself, for every gift that was bestowed upon you last night from the divine Presence was first of all granted to me, and only afterwards to you! Be careful not to make such a claim for yourself in the future! Yes indeed, brother, there is a dignity that is taught to some by hell, to others, by an ant, and to still others, by a frog!

When Moses saw the loving concern of this frog, he understood that it was an agent of God. He flung his turban on the ground and exclaimed: O agent of God, grant me a share in the fellowship of your large heartedness, and present the story of my pain and grief to God!

Behold His honor, which renders every soul speechless! Understanding is left standing, finger in mouth. The door that had been closed could not be opened, Neither could a person place his finger upon it!

Not everyone who sets out is certain to be made a confidant!

Not everyone who comes seeking finds out about this Way!

Those who discover the secret are so lost to view That no one sees even the tip of their hair afterwards!

[Advice on what prayers to say for some specific needs follows.]

Peace!